Time to Say Goodbye

Time to Say Goodbye
Originally uploaded by dcumminsusa

I've had so many things I've wanted to blog about in the last several days, but when I finally got a moment to myself I did not have the energy to do it or I could not remember what I wanted to write about. Here's some rambling about events over the last week...

Last Wednesday I got a call from my father that my grandmother was in the hospital due to complications from melanoma.

My grandmother was diagnosed with cancer about 15 years ago and she beat it. The cancer returned in November of 2007. My parents and I spent Christmas with her (it was the first Christmas the Girlfriend and I have been apart since we started dating). I returned home with the intent to return to visit and enjoy her company while I could. I would return, but not with the frequency I had intended.

My Grandmother did very well throughout her treatments. She retained all of her hair while undergoing chemotherapy and never got sick. The tumors shrank.

The tumors returned, she began taking interferon shots. The tumors shrank. She was doing well.

Then a week and a half ago she came down with a high fever and I nausea. The doctors found two more tumors on her liver that were inoperable.

My parents and the Girlfriend and I arrived by her side a day after the phone call. A few days later the Girlfriend and my father returned home to take care of things on our respective home fronts.

My mom, uncle, and I took turns watching my grandmother through the night once she was moved to hospice care. She was doing very well. On the night of my shift, she lost the strength to swallow her pain medication. I had to switch to giving her liquid morphine.

Some advice a co-worker gave me was incredibly useful. She said, "it's good you are doing this, this is a decision you only get to make once."

The Girlfriend made my grandmother one of the most touching and beautiful cards I have seen. I was able to share it with my grandma before she passed.

On my grandmother's final night with us, my mom couldn't sleep and was constantly hovering. Constantly adjusting things, the blankets, the pillows, the flowers in the room. I told my mom to take this opportunity to tell her mom all the loving things that come to mind.

Remembering my co-workers words, I told my mom there was no reason to wait or to save her words. Now was the time; tell her while she can still hear you and can respond to your voice. Don't wait until she is gone.

I don't know how long my mom was in the room with us whispering to my grandmother, but it was long enough for me to fall asleep until I was awakened by the alarm to administer the next dose of morphine.

In the morning, fifteen minutes, after I had left her side to get a shower, she passed; peacefully, comfortably, and quietly.

Thank you Grandma.