This isn't a New Year's Resolution.
This is about getting focused again and getting healthy.
The last time I was close to being this heavy was in November of 2005.
I'm not going back over 200lbs.
I'm going to be exercising 6 days a week from now on. I don't care how busy I am. 20 minutes of cardio minimum or worse on "strength" days I will follow my workout over at http://hundredpushups.com/ as a minimum.
My standard routine will be to attempt to follow the Body for Life workout routine as close as possible. I have done that program in the past; it made sense to me, and most importantly I enjoyed it.
The holidays are over and I need to seriously overhaul my diet. Food is the bane of my existence and what I used to get into this mess in the first place.
More to come...
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Thursday, December 25, 2008
It's the Thought That Counts...
Today I received a Christmas gift from my maternal Grandmother. My grandmother died in August. More than four months ago, when she was well into the last stages of her illness, she was thinking about her family and what to do for them for Christmas.
Her gift to me today wasn't the gift she gave me. The real gift was her act of giving; giving all the way until the end.
It truly is the thought that counts.
I can only hope to be a good a person as she was.
I miss you Grandma Jean. I miss you and thank you.
Monday, December 22, 2008
A December Rantings and Ramblings
Labels:
work anger frustration
Getting Hot Under the Collar and Putting Out the Flames
Last week I wrote a LONG, angry post about an incident at work.
I never published that blog entry.
I was quite upset by this incident and the behavior of a few individuals. After some thought (and a voice of reason that sounded remarkably like the Girlfriend's voice) I decided not to publish that post. More and more of my co-workers are finding me via Facebook or Twitter, and so far all of these co-workers I would be happy to call my friends and on occasion hangout with them outside of work. In fact if it wasn't for the good company provided by several of these folks I probably would have quit my job a while ago.
However, in economic times like these where I work at a company that is very susceptible to the effects of discretionary spending of individuals and large corporations, I just assume not provide the smallest spark that will burn any of my bridges. Overall this past year I have been much more calm than in past years (at least in my highly biased opinion), but a few key points have really caused my blood to boil.
I wish I could say I was looking down the road towards next year with some great excitement or anticipation, but quite frankly I'm focused on what I believe to be an impending storm on the horizon.
More than one member of my immediate family are struggling with health issues. I'm worried about what lies ahead for them. I like to think I'm optimistic, but after my grandmother lost her battle to cancer this last year my faith has been rocked.
As I mentioned above, I work for a company that is nearly 100% at the mercy of the disposable income of both individuals and businesses. We went through layoffs last year due to changes at our local site, but with the current economy I can't help but worry corporate wide cut backs will be made.
My job should be fairly secure, but that does not prevent me from worrying about my employment.
I am looking forward to spending time with family and loved ones over the next several days. I have lot to be thankful for in my life right now; a stellar girlfriend with four of the best dogs to have ever run and played on this planet. We have a nice warm home and plenty of food.
Today is going to be a Good Day.
Why?
Because it has to be. :-)
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Vote for the Loser? Or Vote for the Muslim Terrorist?
Last night was a first for me.
It was the first time I attended a political rally... of any sort.
I attended a rally for presidential candidate Senator Obama. It was amazing to see how many people had turned out to show their support (most local news agencies report ~45,000 in attendance). On the surface I find it encouraging this many people (especially in my state) care.
However I'm wondering if they are doing it for the 'right' reasons. Allow me to explain... a week ago the Girlfriend and I attended a wedding reception. At the reception we introduced ourselves to a couple at our table. The topic of the election came up. He was a former marine and had served over in Iraq and was now a police officer. During the conversation they admitted that they were going to vote for Obama because John McCain was going to lose and they wanted to vote for the guy that won...
Za?! Really? Are you serious?
Over the last several weeks I have been receiving lots of emails about why one shouldn't vote for one candidate or the other. Most of them were ridiculous and I was able to ignore them until... several of the anti-Obama emails began to pander to fear-mongering and demonizing Muslims. The emails contained little fact, a lot of lies, and a whole lot of anti-muslim implications. The gist:
Terrorist == Muslim == Obama == Vote for McCain.
I could not let these emails go by unanswered. There are plenty reason why both of these men should not be president. However, even if it were true that Barack Obama was Muslim (it's not)... so what? Why should it matter? At least 20% of the population in the U.S. is not Christian... that means at least 60 million U.S citizens don't share our current president's religious views. I replied to those emails with a bit of angst. Solid facts against one candidate or another are fine, but just don't tell me a lie based on fear and expect me to go with it. I hope the people at the rally do get out and vote.
In the last election (2004) I felt McCain was one of the stronger/better candidates. I'm not so sure now; previously he was very anti-Bush, then he was very pro-Bush, and now he is claiming he is anti-Bush again. Obama promotoes "change" however in the last year he has voted with the status quo on a few key issues of which I hold particular interest; claiming he would change them once he got in the White House. Why wait? If you believe in change, then start now... don't wait until it becomes more convenient.
I want to get excited about a candidate and believe; but then I remember in the end they are both big politicians and they will continue to behave as such.
Monday, October 6, 2008
To Heal Like a Dog
It's been almost two months since my grandmother died (see my previous blog post). I miss her.
I have had a few break downs, but for the most part I'm doing really well. I wish I could say the same for other members of the family.
Death tends to bring out the best and the worst in some people. There is a lot of anger and hate regarding things that happened in the past. Nothing can be done to change them, they are in the past and we are living in the present.
I have simply slipped back into my daily routines as they were before; ny daily routines did not include talking to my grandmother or those closest to her. I will probably feel her void next around the holidays as those were when I would usually be with her. Will enough time have passed that it won't be a big deal? We will see.
I wish my loved ones could heal as quickly as Darby. We adopted him a few days after my Grandmother died. He had a hard life the first few weeks he was alive.
He was found abandoned on the side of the road at two weeks of age; two of his litter mates were already dead. His paws were burned from the hot asphalt of the parking lot where he was left. His eyes were just beginning to open. Once he was in the shelter he had protect his food and eat it as quickly as possible because he was so small and young.
When we brought him home he was eight weeks old and showed some extreme food aggression. In fact he actually bit me and drew blood. Through hand feeding and giving him positive experiences with food he no longer has any food issues (unless you count barking at the food bowl just before he starts eating). We free feed him just like the rest of our dogs, and he will eat right along side his adoptive brothers and sister; even sharing the bowl.
In a little more than a month he no longer feels the pains of his past. He lives in the now and the now is good.
He is happy.
He doesn't occasionally have 'bad food days.' Those are gone. They are less than a distant memory to him.
When people say that our dogs have it easy I think there is more truth to that statement then they realize.
I have had a few break downs, but for the most part I'm doing really well. I wish I could say the same for other members of the family.
Death tends to bring out the best and the worst in some people. There is a lot of anger and hate regarding things that happened in the past. Nothing can be done to change them, they are in the past and we are living in the present.
I have simply slipped back into my daily routines as they were before; ny daily routines did not include talking to my grandmother or those closest to her. I will probably feel her void next around the holidays as those were when I would usually be with her. Will enough time have passed that it won't be a big deal? We will see.
I wish my loved ones could heal as quickly as Darby. We adopted him a few days after my Grandmother died. He had a hard life the first few weeks he was alive.
He was found abandoned on the side of the road at two weeks of age; two of his litter mates were already dead. His paws were burned from the hot asphalt of the parking lot where he was left. His eyes were just beginning to open. Once he was in the shelter he had protect his food and eat it as quickly as possible because he was so small and young.
When we brought him home he was eight weeks old and showed some extreme food aggression. In fact he actually bit me and drew blood. Through hand feeding and giving him positive experiences with food he no longer has any food issues (unless you count barking at the food bowl just before he starts eating). We free feed him just like the rest of our dogs, and he will eat right along side his adoptive brothers and sister; even sharing the bowl.
In a little more than a month he no longer feels the pains of his past. He lives in the now and the now is good.
He is happy.
He doesn't occasionally have 'bad food days.' Those are gone. They are less than a distant memory to him.
When people say that our dogs have it easy I think there is more truth to that statement then they realize.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Time to Say Goodbye
I've had so many things I've wanted to blog about in the last several days, but when I finally got a moment to myself I did not have the energy to do it or I could not remember what I wanted to write about. Here's some rambling about events over the last week...
Last Wednesday I got a call from my father that my grandmother was in the hospital due to complications from melanoma.
My grandmother was diagnosed with cancer about 15 years ago and she beat it. The cancer returned in November of 2007. My parents and I spent Christmas with her (it was the first Christmas the Girlfriend and I have been apart since we started dating). I returned home with the intent to return to visit and enjoy her company while I could. I would return, but not with the frequency I had intended.
My Grandmother did very well throughout her treatments. She retained all of her hair while undergoing chemotherapy and never got sick. The tumors shrank.
The tumors returned, she began taking interferon shots. The tumors shrank. She was doing well.
Then a week and a half ago she came down with a high fever and I nausea. The doctors found two more tumors on her liver that were inoperable.
My parents and the Girlfriend and I arrived by her side a day after the phone call. A few days later the Girlfriend and my father returned home to take care of things on our respective home fronts.
My mom, uncle, and I took turns watching my grandmother through the night once she was moved to hospice care. She was doing very well. On the night of my shift, she lost the strength to swallow her pain medication. I had to switch to giving her liquid morphine.
Some advice a co-worker gave me was incredibly useful. She said, "it's good you are doing this, this is a decision you only get to make once."
The Girlfriend made my grandmother one of the most touching and beautiful cards I have seen. I was able to share it with my grandma before she passed.
On my grandmother's final night with us, my mom couldn't sleep and was constantly hovering. Constantly adjusting things, the blankets, the pillows, the flowers in the room. I told my mom to take this opportunity to tell her mom all the loving things that come to mind.
Remembering my co-workers words, I told my mom there was no reason to wait or to save her words. Now was the time; tell her while she can still hear you and can respond to your voice. Don't wait until she is gone.
I don't know how long my mom was in the room with us whispering to my grandmother, but it was long enough for me to fall asleep until I was awakened by the alarm to administer the next dose of morphine.
In the morning, fifteen minutes, after I had left her side to get a shower, she passed; peacefully, comfortably, and quietly.
Thank you Grandma.
Last Wednesday I got a call from my father that my grandmother was in the hospital due to complications from melanoma.
My grandmother was diagnosed with cancer about 15 years ago and she beat it. The cancer returned in November of 2007. My parents and I spent Christmas with her (it was the first Christmas the Girlfriend and I have been apart since we started dating). I returned home with the intent to return to visit and enjoy her company while I could. I would return, but not with the frequency I had intended.
My Grandmother did very well throughout her treatments. She retained all of her hair while undergoing chemotherapy and never got sick. The tumors shrank.
The tumors returned, she began taking interferon shots. The tumors shrank. She was doing well.
Then a week and a half ago she came down with a high fever and I nausea. The doctors found two more tumors on her liver that were inoperable.
My parents and the Girlfriend and I arrived by her side a day after the phone call. A few days later the Girlfriend and my father returned home to take care of things on our respective home fronts.
My mom, uncle, and I took turns watching my grandmother through the night once she was moved to hospice care. She was doing very well. On the night of my shift, she lost the strength to swallow her pain medication. I had to switch to giving her liquid morphine.
Some advice a co-worker gave me was incredibly useful. She said, "it's good you are doing this, this is a decision you only get to make once."
The Girlfriend made my grandmother one of the most touching and beautiful cards I have seen. I was able to share it with my grandma before she passed.
On my grandmother's final night with us, my mom couldn't sleep and was constantly hovering. Constantly adjusting things, the blankets, the pillows, the flowers in the room. I told my mom to take this opportunity to tell her mom all the loving things that come to mind.
Remembering my co-workers words, I told my mom there was no reason to wait or to save her words. Now was the time; tell her while she can still hear you and can respond to your voice. Don't wait until she is gone.
I don't know how long my mom was in the room with us whispering to my grandmother, but it was long enough for me to fall asleep until I was awakened by the alarm to administer the next dose of morphine.
In the morning, fifteen minutes, after I had left her side to get a shower, she passed; peacefully, comfortably, and quietly.
Thank you Grandma.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
"Hey, Did We Miss June?"
I barely caught July.
So much for my goal of blogging at least once a week... I didn't manage a single blog post for the month of June. July is almost gone as well.
I have several topics in mind, but I won't cover any of them here. This post is purely to make myself feel better because won't feel like I have been neglecting my blog.
I've been busy with work; traveling mostly. I have been trying to make that up with the Girlfriend by spending less time on the computer when I am at home.
We went camping over the 4th of the July weekend. It was great to be completely "off the grid."
I did some hiking.
I did some shooting.
I was able to spend some time with some new friends as well as my parents who joined us.
I'm going to attempt to get another blog post up this week. We will see how that goes...
So much for my goal of blogging at least once a week... I didn't manage a single blog post for the month of June. July is almost gone as well.
I have several topics in mind, but I won't cover any of them here. This post is purely to make myself feel better because won't feel like I have been neglecting my blog.
I've been busy with work; traveling mostly. I have been trying to make that up with the Girlfriend by spending less time on the computer when I am at home.
We went camping over the 4th of the July weekend. It was great to be completely "off the grid."
I did some hiking.
I did some shooting.
I was able to spend some time with some new friends as well as my parents who joined us.
I'm going to attempt to get another blog post up this week. We will see how that goes...
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