2009 has been a different year so far to say the least. First let me see if I can get anyone reading this to a basic level of understanding. Regardless of how you, the reader may feel, The Girlfriend and I love our dogs. We do not have children; we have dog-children. Our dogs go everywhere with us and are loved more than probably many children in the world are loved. I know a lot of people don't understand this and simply look their dogs as... dogs.
She had Scout and Bandit when we first started dating. If Scout and Bandit not taken a liking to me the first time I came to her house; The Girlfriend and I would probably not continued to date. For the longest time we joked that if it came down to me or the dogs, I would be the first to go. Over the years we have adopted two more dogs to bring our pack to four. Four is the maximum number of dogs allowed by law in my hometown.
We have a much larger devotion to our animals than most; we know this.
Bandit has been sick for almost 4 months now. He can no longer walk or stand. We carry him outside and lie him on the grass to use the bathroom. We carry him from room to room as we move about the house. We bring his food to him, instead of him coming to it. He can no longer reach the water bowl on his own, so we water him with a big syringe He is on more medications than most would think to provide their pet.
Through all of Bandit's inabilities, he has continued to do what cattle dogs do best; he is making sure the herd stays close together. The last four months has been about "We."
I had several ways in which I wanted to articulate the way we had become closer. However, after plodding through several of them and deleting all of them; I have realized my ineptitude for describing how things have changed.
Bandit's illness has caused a lot of emotional highs and lows in the last few months and we have been riding that roller coaster together. Sometimes only one of us in the lead car and the other in a trailing car. Other times we are sitting side by side; holding hands and holding on tightly; sometimes laughing and sometimes screaming.
All of this because of a little dog. Our little dog.
Screw it... I re-written most of this blog post about four times now... 
We are going to miss you Bandit. I'm going to miss you. Our home will soon feel very different. I worry how your mom is going handle it. She has surprised me several times in the last few months; but this will be one of the hardest things she is going to have to experience.
Thanks accepting me into your home. Thanks for giving me your approval six years ago when we first met.
I was told, "It not fair we out live our pets, when most of the time they are a better person than we are and they are the ones who deserve to live a longer life."
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Heeling Us Until The End
Thursday, January 22, 2009
No More Happy, No More Running...
This blog post is more a coping mechanism for myself...
He's only 10 years old.
Like most 10 year old boys, he loves running and jumping and playing.
He really liked his PE classes.
Playing chase with his brothers and sister.
Around Thanksgiving we thought he hurt his back.
He just collapsed in the kitchen.
We took him to the doctor. The doctor recommended acupuncture and some non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs.
We made sure he was taking his pills and every week took him for acupuncture.
Then he started dragging his left foot.
The doctor switched from traditional acupuncture to vitamin B12 injections into the acupuncture points along the spine.
12 shots; every week. He took them like a trooper. No complaining; no crying.
He would improve for a day or two after the injections and go back to dragging his left foot.
After many attempts we got him into see a specialist.
He had to stay overnight for a Myelogram and CT scan.
Again like a little trooper he did it. His first time away from home with strangers. No complaining; no crying.
The results came back.
He has an inoperable tumor on his spine.
Our baby will eventually become paralyzed from the neck down.
No more running...
No more jumping...
No more playing..
Just
no more ....
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
One-Hundred Ninety-Nine Point Eight
This is about getting focused again and getting healthy.
The last time I was close to being this heavy was in November of 2005.
I'm not going back over 200lbs.
I'm going to be exercising 6 days a week from now on. I don't care how busy I am. 20 minutes of cardio minimum or worse on "strength" days I will follow my workout over at http://hundredpushups.com/ as a minimum.
My standard routine will be to attempt to follow the Body for Life workout routine as close as possible. I have done that program in the past; it made sense to me, and most importantly I enjoyed it.
The holidays are over and I need to seriously overhaul my diet. Food is the bane of my existence and what I used to get into this mess in the first place.
More to come...
Thursday, December 25, 2008
It's the Thought That Counts...
Today I received a Christmas gift from my maternal Grandmother. My grandmother died in August. More than four months ago, when she was well into the last stages of her illness, she was thinking about her family and what to do for them for Christmas.
Her gift to me today wasn't the gift she gave me. The real gift was her act of giving; giving all the way until the end.
It truly is the thought that counts.
I can only hope to be a good a person as she was.
I miss you Grandma Jean. I miss you and thank you.
Monday, December 22, 2008
A December Rantings and Ramblings
Getting Hot Under the Collar and Putting Out the Flames
Last week I wrote a LONG, angry post about an incident at work.
I never published that blog entry.
I was quite upset by this incident and the behavior of a few individuals. After some thought (and a voice of reason that sounded remarkably like the Girlfriend's voice) I decided not to publish that post. More and more of my co-workers are finding me via Facebook or Twitter, and so far all of these co-workers I would be happy to call my friends and on occasion hangout with them outside of work. In fact if it wasn't for the good company provided by several of these folks I probably would have quit my job a while ago.
However, in economic times like these where I work at a company that is very susceptible to the effects of discretionary spending of individuals and large corporations, I just assume not provide the smallest spark that will burn any of my bridges. Overall this past year I have been much more calm than in past years (at least in my highly biased opinion), but a few key points have really caused my blood to boil.
I wish I could say I was looking down the road towards next year with some great excitement or anticipation, but quite frankly I'm focused on what I believe to be an impending storm on the horizon.
More than one member of my immediate family are struggling with health issues. I'm worried about what lies ahead for them. I like to think I'm optimistic, but after my grandmother lost her battle to cancer this last year my faith has been rocked.
As I mentioned above, I work for a company that is nearly 100% at the mercy of the disposable income of both individuals and businesses. We went through layoffs last year due to changes at our local site, but with the current economy I can't help but worry corporate wide cut backs will be made.
My job should be fairly secure, but that does not prevent me from worrying about my employment.
I am looking forward to spending time with family and loved ones over the next several days. I have lot to be thankful for in my life right now; a stellar girlfriend with four of the best dogs to have ever run and played on this planet. We have a nice warm home and plenty of food.
Today is going to be a Good Day.
Why?
Because it has to be. :-)
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Vote for the Loser? Or Vote for the Muslim Terrorist?
Last night was a first for me.
It was the first time I attended a political rally... of any sort.
I attended a rally for presidential candidate Senator Obama. It was amazing to see how many people had turned out to show their support (most local news agencies report ~45,000 in attendance). On the surface I find it encouraging this many people (especially in my state) care.
However I'm wondering if they are doing it for the 'right' reasons. Allow me to explain... a week ago the Girlfriend and I attended a wedding reception. At the reception we introduced ourselves to a couple at our table. The topic of the election came up. He was a former marine and had served over in Iraq and was now a police officer. During the conversation they admitted that they were going to vote for Obama because John McCain was going to lose and they wanted to vote for the guy that won...
Za?! Really? Are you serious?
Over the last several weeks I have been receiving lots of emails about why one shouldn't vote for one candidate or the other. Most of them were ridiculous and I was able to ignore them until... several of the anti-Obama emails began to pander to fear-mongering and demonizing Muslims. The emails contained little fact, a lot of lies, and a whole lot of anti-muslim implications. The gist:
Terrorist == Muslim == Obama == Vote for McCain.
I could not let these emails go by unanswered. There are plenty reason why both of these men should not be president. However, even if it were true that Barack Obama was Muslim (it's not)... so what? Why should it matter? At least 20% of the population in the U.S. is not Christian... that means at least 60 million U.S citizens don't share our current president's religious views. I replied to those emails with a bit of angst. Solid facts against one candidate or another are fine, but just don't tell me a lie based on fear and expect me to go with it. I hope the people at the rally do get out and vote.
In the last election (2004) I felt McCain was one of the stronger/better candidates. I'm not so sure now; previously he was very anti-Bush, then he was very pro-Bush, and now he is claiming he is anti-Bush again. Obama promotoes "change" however in the last year he has voted with the status quo on a few key issues of which I hold particular interest; claiming he would change them once he got in the White House. Why wait? If you believe in change, then start now... don't wait until it becomes more convenient.
I want to get excited about a candidate and believe; but then I remember in the end they are both big politicians and they will continue to behave as such.
Monday, October 6, 2008
To Heal Like a Dog
I have had a few break downs, but for the most part I'm doing really well. I wish I could say the same for other members of the family.
Death tends to bring out the best and the worst in some people. There is a lot of anger and hate regarding things that happened in the past. Nothing can be done to change them, they are in the past and we are living in the present.
I have simply slipped back into my daily routines as they were before; ny daily routines did not include talking to my grandmother or those closest to her. I will probably feel her void next around the holidays as those were when I would usually be with her. Will enough time have passed that it won't be a big deal? We will see.
I wish my loved ones could heal as quickly as Darby. We adopted him a few days after my Grandmother died. He had a hard life the first few weeks he was alive.
He was found abandoned on the side of the road at two weeks of age; two of his litter mates were already dead. His paws were burned from the hot asphalt of the parking lot where he was left. His eyes were just beginning to open. Once he was in the shelter he had protect his food and eat it as quickly as possible because he was so small and young.
When we brought him home he was eight weeks old and showed some extreme food aggression. In fact he actually bit me and drew blood. Through hand feeding and giving him positive experiences with food he no longer has any food issues (unless you count barking at the food bowl just before he starts eating). We free feed him just like the rest of our dogs, and he will eat right along side his adoptive brothers and sister; even sharing the bowl.
In a little more than a month he no longer feels the pains of his past. He lives in the now and the now is good.
He is happy.
He doesn't occasionally have 'bad food days.' Those are gone. They are less than a distant memory to him.
When people say that our dogs have it easy I think there is more truth to that statement then they realize.